THE OVEN-MITTED LUMIERE! I am in tears with laughter!
THE OVEN-MITTED LUMIERE! I am in tears with laughter!
Believe it or not, the longer you stare at this photograph, the more little hidden treasures you seem to find:
-The fact that the very best they could manage for the Beast’s grand dining room is a miniature cafe table.
-Mrs. Potts assertively flashing the ol’ plastic smile with unfailingly commitment to that spout.
-Belle who seems to be going Abigail Williams (a la “The Crucible”) on that bowl of soup.
-A Beast quite literally being swallowed up by an enormous mass of fur….how is the poor guy expected to eat that soup without proper access to his mouth?!
-And last, my very favorite discovery, the fact that two people in the front row are legitimately LEAVING THE PRODUCTION mid-scene!
"Beauty and the Ewok"
Set a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, we revisit this iconic, “tale as old as time” in an intergalactic realm, giving new meaning to our heroine’s yearning for “adventure in the great wide somewhere.”
Also note the set (?) in the background, which appears to be just a compilation of draped sheets….
Fear not, your distress is perfectly understandable….we’ll navigate through this low-budget treasure trove together!
From left to right starting with the back line:
-A disgruntled and justifiably embarrassed Chip in a lamp shade, mutilated bed sheet, and a styrofoam base…likely rendering her immobile.
-A “paint-by-numbers” 2D Beast in Party City’s standard coat and wrinkled ascot.
-Cogsworth sporting some very questionable facial hair and an absurdly stoic look of pride.
-Babette, who has selected a miniature bonnet (possibly stolen from the American Girl Doll Felicity….) and a nude colored turtleneck (….resulting in a moment of concern at the fact that she might actually be naked)
-A Mrs. Potts, bearing an uncanny resemblance to Violet Beauregarde…. after she turns into a blueberry.
-A Lumiere….ON CRUTCHES!
(curving to the front line)
-Belle, the very BEST of the group.
WHO THE HELL ARE THOSE TWO PEOPLE ON THE LEFT?!
Mrs. Meers and Ching Ho? Zorro and The Bride of Frankenstein? Gomez Addams and the Grandma?
Every Beast is special in its own right, but this one is particularly extraordinary, considering my very own sister is currently starring as Babette, the feather duster, alongside THIS, which she refers to as “Tracy Turnblad meets a bison.”
That’s right, NO ONE is safe from the Low-Budget Beast!
Thanks, Missy, for this outstanding submission! I don’t know how you get through the show without laughing out loud…..Haha! ;)
Ah yes, the Masquerade approach- giving a whole new meaning to the “Beauty and the Beast” title song lyric “bittersweet and strange”….
….although I think “finding you can change. Learning you were wrong” is a bit more applicable….if not entirely vital.
(Also, if that’s a towel this Belle has fastened to her gown, I’m pretty sure I owned it.)
Yesterday, I was shocked to discover that LowBudgetBeasts had acquired 10,000 followers and even more astonished to find that it has well exceeded that number this morning.
This, of course, is all thanks to YOU and your support of this wacky blog. To reiterate from my last “thank you” post, I so appreciate your submissions, comments, and messages and love to hear from you so please don’t hesitate to interject if you have something you’d like to say.
Since we’re all friends now (all 10,000+ of us….;) ), I think it’s only fair that I share my own personal encounter with the Beast….
While obviously NOT of the low-budget variety (it is well known that Disney has money to spare….), I still found this lumbering Beast unbearably funny as he attempted to waltz and gracefully maneuver about the stage. Oh right….did I mention I’m the Belle on the left?
That’s right, a former Disney Princess turned comedy blogger!
(As Belle in “The Golden Mickeys” show at Hong Kong Disneyland)
So, there you are, the gal behind the Beasts is ironically….Belle!
Now that we’ve dispelled the monotony with this little detour, BACK TO THE LOW BUDGET BEASTS!
….so they have managed to turn a coloring book page into a mask….
Apart from that, the rest is tragically inexplicable….
Want to give your Beast some phenomenal prosthetics but just don’t have the budget to do so?
Well, it’s time to get creative with some common household items! Remember those ornate conch shells you purchased on your tropical vacation to Hawaii? USE ‘EM AS EARS! How about that ancient deflated, mini basketball your son used to dribble around the backyard? USE IT AS A MOUTH! How about that old frizzy wig you wore to the annual neighborhood Halloween party when you went as a sexy 80’s rocker chick? USE IT! Got an old “Cone Heads” head piece hanging around the costume closet? USE IT!
Simply attach the dejected pieces of crap you’ve collected to the “Cone Heads” piece using an unfathomable amount of hot glue. Don’t worry about any mistakes or misplacements, you’ll be covering it all up with the 80’s rocker wig.
Once the helmet is complete, you’ll need to decorate the mini deflated basketball. Feel free to cut it to fit the actor’s face and then attach it with some globs of spirit gum. Now have some fun decorating the basketball and making it REALLY look like a mouth.
Voila! You’re done! Congratulations costumers! Just remember, have fun and know that the audience is sitting at least ten feet away from the stage so they likely won’t see any of the mistakes you’ve made! ;)
(Please also notice how Belle is staring at the masterful Beast as if transfixed and unable to proceed with the scripted dialogue….)
Thanks Amy Elizabeth for this gem!
Beauty and the Baboon….I ask you, why is “Beast” so often synonymous with some variation of a monkey?!
Also, can we just spend a moment looking at the chandelier serving as Belle’s tiara?